Compassion fatigue is a form of burnout that comes from caring for the needs of family members, loved ones, and pets. Feelings such as empathy and warmheartedness are emotional parts of human nature. The act of caring for other people is often balanced with a deep understanding for another person’s stress, illness, or pain. Caregivers who tend to folks with I/DD have a close relationship with the person, including many day-to-day challenges that are easily felt and known. The emotional piece to caregiving can be a secondary burden, especially with those who we love. Caregivers can be at risk for compassion fatigue when they have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, an impulse to rescue others, and/or a lack of personal boundaries. Feelings such as an excessive desire to socially isolate, emotional outbursts, sadness, apathy, physical ailments, and substance overuse can be signs of compassion fatigue.
Tips
Use Discernment: This means knowing our options and making decisions based on our own better judgment. Oftentimes we have more options than we realize! It is ok to step back, take a breath, and think on the choices that are available. From that place actions can be self-directed before tending to the immediate needs of others. It is healthy and reasonable to make decisions based on our true feelings and opinions.
Balance Empathy: Imagine the compassion and empathy that you carry every day and consider how to share a piece of that with yourself. Caregiving can mean balancing the thoughtfulness that you bring to others with kindness toward yourself. This can simply be a loving or compassionate thought that is directed toward yourself. And, if you want to take action, write it down! It can be helpful to empathize with our own choices, mistakes, and needs. This can soften stress in the short-term and bolster acceptance and peace over time.
Create Boundaries: We are all individuals in our own way even as we share life with people and society. Drawing boundaries is not just about saying No to people, events, and activities, it is also about saying Yes to ourselves. Boundaries shape the relationship that we have to our identities, values, and needs. Without lines around who we are, what we need, and who we want to be, there is no structure to form the unique individuals who we are. Boundaries can be in the form of thoughts, communication, and behavior, and we have the right to assert what we are willing to give and receive.
Supportive Activity: Creative Self Expression
Emotions are a natural part of being human, including feelings like anger, fear, hurt, and frustration. Take time to be aware of those feelings and allow them to rise. By giving them words or an outlet, this will help let them go.
Visual journaling with drawing or collage around an emotion
Write a letter that you don’t send
Write a short story
Use dance to move feelings or express the emotion in your move